At a Loss

I live in a world where my rights have to be voted on.  Rights that have already been well established for any straight man or woman.  If I want to marry, the country has had to decide that.  If I want health benefits in my work place, the country has had to decide. if I want to adopt or foster a child, the country has had to decide if a gay man should be able to. If I feel unsafe and/or discriminated against, the country votes if those discriminations are valid or not.  You may live in a different world, where you don’t have to worry about those things, and I hope you understand the difference between your world and mine. 

It has been awhile since I have felt the need to sit down and write the thoughts and feelings swirling around inside my head.  I woke up this morning feeling an overwhelming need to express my perspective, fears and hopes in this format so please be patient with me as I do my best to convey the reasons this election seems so heavy to myself and so necessary to the LGBTQ+ community. 

I know we have come a long way towards equal rights in this country.  The last few years alone have shown how passionate America feels in regards to women being treated with respect, People of Color having the same rights as everyone else and the LGBTQ+ community having a seat at the table. I go back and forth on if I should express any political views on social media because of how toxic these platforms can become when something is taken out of context so forgive me if further emphasis needs to be made on anything I am about to say.  If there is confusion or question, please know my intention in writing this is to express my own perspective.  I can only speak for myself - and here I am feeling the need to do just that.

My social media feeds are often as humorous as they are unnerving.  It’s about a 50/50 split of gay guys vs Mormons and you can imagine the stark difference in perspective and viewpoints shared.  I love my Mormon friends and family - I have never attacked any of them for their beliefs and I am grateful for them being in my life.  All of them.  That being said, it has been hard to see so many Mormon friends and family members vote for Trump when he and his administration have done so much harm to the LGBTQ+ community.  Hearing that someone is either a Democrat or Republican has moved from being a point of conversation and intrigue to a battle cry when you learn someone sides with a party that makes it a point to attempt to make sure you are not given an equal chance in this country. 

Under Trump’s time in office (so far), this administration has:

• Proposed cutting $1.35 billion (29%) of PEPFAR’s (President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief) budget to fight AIDs.
• The LGBTQ+ liaison position in the WH was eliminated
• The LGBTQ+ community isn’t acknowledged in the Census
• Foster Care Programs are still allowed to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people/couples
• The day Trump was sworn in, he removed mention and representation of LGBTQ+ off the WH website.
• Pride Flags are not allowed to be hung at US Embassies during Pride month
• The US removed themselves from the U.N. Human Rights Council
• You can refuse service to a member of the LGBTQ+ at your business simply because you want to or based on religious reasons.
• Countless acts and regulations against Trans people. Including refusing equal health benefits and restrictions in the military (which was against military leaderships input).
• Supreme Court Justices that have taken Anti-LGBTQ+ stances have been appointed. 
• Obergefell v Hodges is still being debated where there are members of the Republican Party who feel that gay marriage should be removed. 

And that isn’t even half of it. 

The 2020 RNC platform opposes same-sex marriage and transgender military personnel while also supporting conversion therapy and the rights to discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community.   That is simply not okay. 

I have seen young (white male) voters post how this election doesn’t matter one way or the other for them.  How it will not change anything about their lives. How lucky it must be to not have your civil rights up for debate on every round of (both small and large scale) elections.  Some might even use the word ‘Privilege’ here and I won’t disagree with them. For those young voters who do not see why this election matters I urge them to look beyond themselves.  Look beyond the video gaming and what you’ll get back on your tax returns because these things matter more. Period. There is more on the line right now than if you are going to be mandated to wear a mask. That is a whole other topic for another day. (...insert Eye-roll)

It has baffled me that so many of my Mormon friends (and family) follow Trump when Biden is the Catholic and Trump is as religious as I am straight. It has baffled me that so many of my Mormon friends (and family) follow Trump when they hold such high moral standards and expectations and yet here is a man saying the things he does about women.  About fellow politicians.  About handicapped members of the press.  About what he would do to his own daughter if she wasn’t his daughter.  It has baffled me that so many of my Mormon friends (and family) follow Trump, an impeached (and proven) liar that currently has 26 sexual assault charges filed against him. But Joe Biden is the “creepy” one that makes you cringe.  Trump seems to be everything Mormon's are taught not to be … and yet.

When I hear that someone is voting for Trump - It feels personal.  A vote for Trump shows that (while you may not be racist or homophobic) you are voting for someone who does not see me as an equal and who has made that point clear in the actions he has taken … and not taken.  So forgive me when I say it feels personal.  It feels very personal.  While I agree we need to find a way to come together and move forward regardless of what this election decides, it will be hard for me to look beyond so much of what I have seen and felt.  

*Felt is the operative word in all honesty.  That is where I have to remind myself that feelings are not facts*

I saw a post on a social media page stating that this administration will end.  It may be in January 2021 or it may be in 4 years but it will end.  And when it ends we will see our acquaintances for the true colors they showed during these unprecedented times.  That goes on both sides.  This election has showed me that some of you are voting in favor of a party that doesn’t see my civil rights equal to your own.  That is difficult to understand. 

That is why another 4 years of Trump scares me.  That list I noted above doesn’t even scratch the surface.  (I have a list much larger than that but decided to only highlight a few points for you here.)  Those topics are only in regards to the LGBTQ+ community.  There are so many more issues at hand here and I urge everyone to not only look at what directly affects themselves but the collective whole (that’s me telling myself that as well).  I would love to have an open dialogue on what we need to do to be a more collective and unified people in this country.  Lord knows we need to be. 

Some of you may have valid points as to why you are a Republican.  I hope you hold those reasons with conviction and are able to reiterate those reasons better than I have been able to on this post.  May America truly find some way to move forward, understanding each other better.  Seeing the bigger picture for this country, together.  Having rights equal to one another without having to question those topics every 2 and 4 years on ballots. I am at a loss that I even feel the need to say we all must view each other as equals.  

We must do better. We must be better.  We must demand better.  

So we vote.